When prayers are answered...

I've been looking for a full time job since this summer. I've been frustrated at times and I've felt like giving up at times. I so want to get this adoption journey started but so many other factors have to line up first, the most important being me having gainful employment. Then, of course, there are the issues facing international adoption at the present moment but I'm trying not to think about that.

Last night I was feeling more and more frustrated. I am so tired of being a substitute teacher. The kids have absolutely no respect for their regular teachers much less a substitute. Don't get me wrong, I've had some wonderful days subbing and met some truly great kids. I have a stack of drawings and notes they have given me at the end of the day to show for it. But it's really a thankless job and it's hard not knowing from one day to the next whether or not I am working, and what time I have to be at work.

Knowing that I had a job interview this morning, I decided to give my frustrations to the Lord last night. I prayed for Him to take this burden from me and said that the only thing I wanted for Christmas was a "real" job. The interview went extremely well. I used to work for this company so I already know a lot about it and I still have a really good friend who works there. She actually "telecommutes" because she lives in a different state. About an hour after I got home from the interview and my trip to the post office and the grocery store, I received a phone call offering me the position. Of course, I accepted!!! So I start work on Monday.

I don't know where this will take me. But I do know that this company is really good about allowing people to telecommute even if they live locally. Which would be ideal for a single mother with a newly adopted baby!!

So I am going to take this journey for now. I am going to keep the tutoring job, but I just won't work as many hours there.

And the rest of it is in the hands of the Lord....

Christmas Shopping.... and more

So I decided to start my Christmas shopping today. I never intended to start this late but wasn't sure I was going to be doing Christmas at all this year. I decided to do it but to keep it small, after all it is the thought that counts. So far I have bought small gifts for my 2 wonderful nephews. I know they will get so much from everyone in their lives, from parents to grandparents to their other aunt but I wanted them to have something special from me.

I am praying that this holiday season will bring good news to everyone. I pray for those who are currently awaiting referrals and TAs from China. I pray for those who are awaiting for that "out of PGN" or "Pink" call from Guatemala. And I pray for those who are waiting for their opportunity to get this crazy but so worth it process started. There is so much uncertaintity in it all for me, but I am not giving up hope.

Never forget:

Is it really the beginning of the holiday season???

I saw this on another blog and I just couldn' resist!! It is so hard to believe that the holiday season is upon us. Just click on this link for a fun surprise, and I don't mind if you laugh!!

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9540865244

Nothing new to report...

It's been a while since I posted so I just thought I'd say there's nothing new to report. I'm working very hard at the jobs I do currently have but they are not what I want for the long term. And yes, I did say jobs... I have 2 of them!!

I keep hoping and praying that some things in my life will start looking up, first on the job front so that I can get back on track and start the adoption process. I think I should probably start some of the paper process early, like making sure I have my birth certificate, deciding who to get my references from, etc. I do have a passport since I've already traveled outside of the country twice - to China in 1999 and to Ukraine in 2002. I know I needed my birth certificate for my passport but the question is... where is it? I'll need it to renew my passport most likely... it expires in 2009.

It's almost 9:30 p.m. on a Saturday night and I am getting ready for bed!! What is wrong with this picture? I am a single woman!! But I am sick!! I have been coughling like crazy for a few days now (as a bronchitis sufferer, this happens every time I get the slightest cold, sinus infection, etc.) and I have next to no voice. I am completely wiped out yet all I did today was work for 4 hours (not a strenuous job, I tutor!!) and spend some time walking around a local craft show called Santa's Stocking.

Well, that's all for now. I hope to have something really good to report soon!!

Petition

As you can see from my last entry, titled "Very Scary," there are indeed some troubling things going on in regards to Guatemalan adoptions.

I urge everyone to sign this petition that will be sent to the President. Every signature counts, please think of the babies who are waiting to come home with their forever families, the babies yet to be born, the babies yet to be matched, and the families in the U.S. who can give these children a home.

Here is the link:

http://www.petitiononline.com/foafoa1/petition.html

At the time I have posted this link, the peitition has 28,472 total signatures. I signed it myself just a few days ago and I believe I was somewhere in the 11,000 range of signers. Please sign!!

Very scary...

OK, I've been making the rounds of adoption blogs tonight and some of what I have been reading has me scared out of my mind. First off, there are many families who are in the midst of the process of adopting from Guatemala, with some very severe cases involving signatures not obtained. The adoptive mothers of some of these babies have been living in Antigua for almost a year now, fostering their babies. When Guatemala becomes a Hague country on Jan. 1, 2008, they will require all adoptions (even those in process) to meet Hague standards. Furthermore, they will not process adoptions to non-Hague member countries after Dec. 31, 2007. The United States is NOT YET a Hague member country. So the U.S. Department of State has issued a severe warning that when Guatemala becomes a Hague country on Jan. 1st, all adoption cases in process will not be grandfathered in and may not be able to be completed.

This is extremely scary for me, on two levels. First, I worry about all the people who are in process (in PGN, in family court, etc.) who are now facing the very real idea of losing this adoption. Second, I have not yet even yet begun the process and I am now feeling the very real threat of a second country closed to me for who knows how long. I can not adopt from China since I am not married, so after looking into the requirements for other countries, Guatemala looked like the best route for me to go.

Let's face it, there are not that many countries that a single woman can adopt from. I am very scared of this whole idea going up in smoke. I cannot even think about starting the process until I get back on my feet again and I don't know how long that is going to take.

I am very sad tonight, thinking about all the babies that have been referred and have loving families waiting for them in the U.S. I am very sad tonight, thinking about what this will all mean for me.

Waiting...

I have never been good at waiting. I present a calm and peaceful, patient front to the world but I am dying inside because I can't stand waiting.

What am I waiting for? Right now I am waiting for responses to the tons of resumes I have sent out in the past few weeks. To date, I have interviewed at 8 schools for about 10 teaching positions and was not chosen by any of them. I cannot tell anyone how disheartening this is to me. I went into teaching because I felt called to be there, it wasn't a decision I made lightly. My first year of teaching was absolutely horrible, I was so sick (physically) for a long time and was working crazy hours. It seemed as though nothing I did was good enough for my principal. The highest praise I received from her was for finishing the year in such a positive mood. Again, that's the facade I wanted her and everyone else to see.

I have also had 1 non-teaching interview and it did not pan out either. So I've had 9 interviews and nothing yet. This has NEVER happened to me in the past and it is extremely scary.

The other thing I am waiting for is to begin the adoption process. Obviously, starting anything now when I do not have a full time job is not a good idea. The biggest factor in that right now is that I am not getting any younger and it has to happen probably in the next 2 - 3 years.

I've given up waiting to meet my soulmate. I just cannot concentrate on that right now. At this point, my immediate concern is employment/money and my secondary concern is the adoption. Even if I were to meet someone and get married, we would most likely have to adopt.

I am trying so hard not to let any of this get me down, but it is extremely difficult.

Pics

I wanted to test the adding of photos to my blog posts!



This is a recent photo of Gracie.

This is a recent photo of Angel.

Aren't my girls beautiful???

My First Post

This is my first adventure in blogging. I am going to use this blog to document my thoughts and feelings on adopting and when I get the process started, it will be chronicled here. I first have to get my employment situation sorted out.

Since it is not looking like I will get married any time soon, I have realized that adoption may be my only hope of becoming a Mom. Some people have asked if I have thought about trying artificial insemination but with my female related issues I don't think that would be a good route to go.

A long time ago, I started thinking and dreaming about one day adopting from China. But, due to recent changes in regulations put out by the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs, that dream has had to die for now. They no longer allow adoption by single women.

In my surfing adventures through adoption blogs, I have found out about adoption from Guatemala and it looks like the way to go for me. I have not yet attended an adoption seminar, which is the first step in the home study process.

I have not ventured into this without much prayer. I feel very led to adopting from Guatemala and it has been much more than a personal decision. I do not know how long this process is going to take or how much it is going to cost me. But I am not worrying about the financial costs right now, I am praying about it. The one thing I keep going back to is that if anyone waited until they had enough money to have, or adopt, a child then they may never be a parent.

I simply want to be a Mom. I know that I will love my child as much as if I had given birth. This child will be born in my heart.