Heartaches

How do I explain this?? My heart is aching tonight... I want to be a mother more than I can even express with words. I have this overwhelming feeling that I am SUPPOSED to be a mother. I made the unwise decision to visit a few adoption blogs and am sitting here with tears streaming down my face.... and my heart is crying out to God to make the aching go away...

Petition

As you can see from my last entry, titled "Very Scary," there are indeed some troubling things going on in regards to Guatemalan adoptions.

I urge everyone to sign this petition that will be sent to the President. Every signature counts, please think of the babies who are waiting to come home with their forever families, the babies yet to be born, the babies yet to be matched, and the families in the U.S. who can give these children a home.

Here is the link:

http://www.petitiononline.com/foafoa1/petition.html

At the time I have posted this link, the peitition has 28,472 total signatures. I signed it myself just a few days ago and I believe I was somewhere in the 11,000 range of signers. Please sign!!

Very scary...

OK, I've been making the rounds of adoption blogs tonight and some of what I have been reading has me scared out of my mind. First off, there are many families who are in the midst of the process of adopting from Guatemala, with some very severe cases involving signatures not obtained. The adoptive mothers of some of these babies have been living in Antigua for almost a year now, fostering their babies. When Guatemala becomes a Hague country on Jan. 1, 2008, they will require all adoptions (even those in process) to meet Hague standards. Furthermore, they will not process adoptions to non-Hague member countries after Dec. 31, 2007. The United States is NOT YET a Hague member country. So the U.S. Department of State has issued a severe warning that when Guatemala becomes a Hague country on Jan. 1st, all adoption cases in process will not be grandfathered in and may not be able to be completed.

This is extremely scary for me, on two levels. First, I worry about all the people who are in process (in PGN, in family court, etc.) who are now facing the very real idea of losing this adoption. Second, I have not yet even yet begun the process and I am now feeling the very real threat of a second country closed to me for who knows how long. I can not adopt from China since I am not married, so after looking into the requirements for other countries, Guatemala looked like the best route for me to go.

Let's face it, there are not that many countries that a single woman can adopt from. I am very scared of this whole idea going up in smoke. I cannot even think about starting the process until I get back on my feet again and I don't know how long that is going to take.

I am very sad tonight, thinking about all the babies that have been referred and have loving families waiting for them in the U.S. I am very sad tonight, thinking about what this will all mean for me.

My First Post

This is my first adventure in blogging. I am going to use this blog to document my thoughts and feelings on adopting and when I get the process started, it will be chronicled here. I first have to get my employment situation sorted out.

Since it is not looking like I will get married any time soon, I have realized that adoption may be my only hope of becoming a Mom. Some people have asked if I have thought about trying artificial insemination but with my female related issues I don't think that would be a good route to go.

A long time ago, I started thinking and dreaming about one day adopting from China. But, due to recent changes in regulations put out by the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs, that dream has had to die for now. They no longer allow adoption by single women.

In my surfing adventures through adoption blogs, I have found out about adoption from Guatemala and it looks like the way to go for me. I have not yet attended an adoption seminar, which is the first step in the home study process.

I have not ventured into this without much prayer. I feel very led to adopting from Guatemala and it has been much more than a personal decision. I do not know how long this process is going to take or how much it is going to cost me. But I am not worrying about the financial costs right now, I am praying about it. The one thing I keep going back to is that if anyone waited until they had enough money to have, or adopt, a child then they may never be a parent.

I simply want to be a Mom. I know that I will love my child as much as if I had given birth. This child will be born in my heart.