For some strange reason, today was one of those days where I just wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there, just waiting for it to be over. I felt all day like I was doing everything wrong and it would never be right. Then, to make matters worse, a co-worker's daughter came to visit him with her new baby. He was proudly showing off his brand new grandson and I don't begrudge him or the mother the pride, he is a beautiful baby. But this gentleman just turned 50 and has a beautiful new grandson to show off. I, on the other hand, am 41 and I don't even have children yet. I want to get this adoption journey started, I know it's what I am supposed to do but there are still obstacles in my way. I did read on another blog that there might be some positive changes happening for adoptions from Guatemala so I am hopeful about that at least.
Maybe I won't crawl under that rock after all... I think I just need a good cry.
3 comments:
Hi Karen-
I've been lurking for awhile on your blog and thought I'd say hello! I think I found you from a post you had left on Kate's blog (A Special Family).
There are many things we have in common; adopted 2 cats, single, 41
want to adopt.
I so know how you feel. I was looking a pictures of my nephew and niece when they were toddlers, both are teens know, and just started crying at what I missed out on because I did not have any kids of my own.
It will be at least 2.5 years before I can even think about starting, school. Hang in there! We are great moms! We just don't have our kiddos yet.
Mary
Oh Karen, I'm so sorry that you were feeling so down. I didn't know that you had posted anything else on this blog until just now. I was checking it every now and then for a while, but it has been a while...sorry. I'm glad you are finding an outlet to write about this journey you are going through. I'll be praying for you. Hopefully you are in better spirits now (considering almost a month has passed since you wrote this post). I'll definitely be better about checking back in with you now that I know you're posting:) Love ya, girl!
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